Thursday, 31 May 2012

As a Cosplayer

At one point in my life I used to try and cater what I say to everyone, that had me crash and burn out because there's just no pleasing everyone. So I thought I'd just cater to the intelligent folk.

[Quick note before I launch into this; for you pricks who thought I was complaining in my last post, go suck a dick. That was a review, an observation, written in the way I write. If I ever complain I do so to the relevant persons so I don't waste my efforts. All of this is a form of journalism and blogging, you morons.]

This post is about hostility between cosplayers. It is not about what constitutes good/bad cosplay, nor is it a rant telling people what they should and shouldn't do. The fact I have to spell this out makes me not want to live on this planet anymore because some cretin will come along, get butthurt and completely miss the point.

Staying "middle of the road" does nothing to convey one's message, it's simply directionless waffle. I chose to play the Devil's Advocate or to be more concise; be vocal about being the Devil's Advocate. Many of you have thought about the things I say already, I know this because it's started more internet arguements than Religion, Drugs, Animeleague, and Goku vs Superman.* This proves that many people have thought about what I say.

*For the record Batman would fuckin' kick everyone's ass. He's the Goddamn Batman. He'd absorb Goku's energy attacks with his relay gauntlets, use the energy to pull a meteor out of orbit with a network of WayneTech Sattellites and plough that 72megaton space nugget into Goku's nutsack after having him chase ghosts and shadows on the dark side of the motherfuckin' moon. Don't even get me started on how he'd bend Superboy over and Leeroy Jenkins his internal organs with the Batfists.

I'll try to explain as much as I can because I've never actually seen anyone articulate enough to take the time and spell it out for everyone to understand. You see I'm a cosplayer, holy crapola no shit son. I don't claim to be the best, I have my strengths and weaknesses much like anyone else and I have my own reasons. I'm the kind who works to his strengths and has fun with what he does. However I see many who make it sound like they're not really having fun at all, and this confuses me. Why would you go do something to bitch and whine about it afterwards? Oh yeah, internets! Oh you!

In my last post I mentioned something about random fucknuts in certain accessories who claim they're cosplayers, many seen at Expo. There are no rules on cosplaying, but a couple of themes and I'll explain;

 - Have fun in what you do. It's about having fun, because the only other reasons you should be doing it is because it's a favour to a friend, or you're getting paid to do it. If you're doing it for attention, you're pretty much an attention whore, superficial, shallow, uninteresting and knowing you is more of a chore than a friendship.

 - Love the character, love the costume, or both. I'll not claim you should know the character, some of us properly fall in love with the outfit before we know anything about the character. Hell, the Japanese make a pasttime about getting into hobbies and knowing nothing about it (case in point is Gunpla, you get hobbyists who've never watched one episode of Gundam, yet love the mechs, models and putting the kits together. They don't even intend to watch an episode.) Again, reasons why you wouldn't do it for these two reasons fall into a favour, or getting paid. If you're doing it for the sake of having people take pictures and swoon over you, then you fall into the catagory I like to call the "Jeremy Kyle Guestlist".

Those two pretty much cover it, and it's not limited to Anime/Manga. Some people I know do it for movies, Sci Fi, TV, Internet etc etc. It's a massive spread of media.

But understand this; there are many who put more effort into these costumes than you could imagine. They may not be the grand elite, they just love what they do. Imagine how they feel when they see obvious n00bs at an event who've half-assed a cosplay. Sure these faggots are new to the game, but we're not talking novice mistakes, we're talking "I'm pretty sure Captain Hitsugaya has white hair, not a brown ponytail.." or "Hey, I know I don't read Kuroshitsuji, but did that kid with the eyepatch wear converse?". Seeing individuals who half-ass it, throw on a random wig, dress up in faux-lolita dresses and end up looking like teenie whores who've magnetised themselves and rolled around in Claire's Accessories, all of that is a bit insulting to many cosplayers. All this hard work we put in gets trampled on.

I know many cosplayers who go as far as changing their body type to be able to cosplay certain characters. I'm not saying everyone should do it, I'm saying be aware of the level of dedication some people put in. We can tell how much effort someone has put in, trust us, you don't wanna know how hardcore some of us get in this hobby.

Those who are blatantly out for attention/social acceptance I perceive in the same light as free huggers/douchebags who hold up signs to explain their cosplays/that school bully who couldn't read/assbagels who only stick to their own little cliques/hardcore AL'ers/alcoholics or people who like to be known as an alcoholic*. Basically, it's stupid, unintelligent, unoriginal, immature and just sad.

*Real Alcoholism is horrific, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. It's an addiction and destroys families and people in the same way that using bad Japanese in your sentences destroys any shred of respect I have for you as a person, human, lifeform, mass of protoplasm, worm fuel. To brag that you are an alcoholic is stating you simply enjoy alcohol, you douchebag poser.

Excuses don't wash either. Such as "I'm Naruto when he's at his Bah Mitzvah" or "I'm cosplaying Guy Shishio if he was at the sexual health clinic" or "This is my Master Asia when he's at the beach".. Shit like that makes me wanna tear a weeb apart with a clawhammer, it's just excuses. Especially when it's so out of character. Maybe.. MAYBE you'll get away with something like "This is Ichigo cosplaying Zangetsu"; in fact I saw two truly inspired ones last Kitacon: Garrus Vakarian and Thane Krios from Mass Effect as Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction. Both characters are badass, and it's just makes sense, hats off to Manticore and Manjou. They nailed that harder than Thor with itchy hammer arm.

We've seen adaptations, some good, some bad. Some we can't help such as the gender transitions, and gijinkas. However I'm pretty sure than a pikachu gijinka wouldn't show underboob. Pikachu just isn't a "sexy" pokémon, unless that's just my personal tastes.

If you do find pikachu a sexy little bastard, then follow me on Twitter and read my brain farts since you're already a sick bastard it's not gonna do any more damage.

~Warai Otoko

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhh~ I get what you mean about all of this. (makes me feel bad that I just faffed about Expo in a wig but tbf I wasn't supposed to be there so orz) ~ I honestly love these posts seriously man <3 Your writing style is just pure entertainment!