I read something interesting in the news today, about The Law of Jante.
Today we live in a world of perpetual adolescence where the average individual of age tends to indulge in childish notions. I'm no different, I make engine sounds a lot, even when I'm driving my car. The internet is a wealth of knowledge yet many don't get past Facebook, Twitter, or that site where I download porn with hedges and shrubs. It's all so easy for you, yet unless it's linked to you and given on a silver platter in a bitesize format it will be lost to you forever.
The Law of Jante lists a few things that can be summarised in two words; Be Modest. However even this is too difficult a notion to comprehend because it means you've got to utilise your gray matter to work out how to implement and use such advice. We need to break it down further into an idiot sheet of what to do and what not to do, hence why you see factsheets on how to attend a fucking convention by yours truly, goddamn you're welcome.
It makes me feel pretty wrong when I have to spoon feed it to those who need it, because I'm enabling their dependence on babyfood information. Trust me, I feel pretty wrong as standard after seeing an Ent orgy and there's no limit of sodium hydroxide showers that I need to feel clean again. I thought we were getting somewhere, that free hugs and idiots were dying out. Seems someone threw some pocky on that fire and cranked up the Carmeldansen to 11 because suddenly there's a fucking outbreak of stupidity that makes me feel like giving my eyes a shower with a bottle of concentrated Listerine.
I personally think the community in it's entirety has become an Elephant. A grand majestic beast, exotic and huge. But it cranks out so much shit you could almost drown in it. If you're not careful it can crush you. It will devour and consume a hell of a lot then want more. The adolescent males sometime stink like shit and for some stupid reason they just won't start charging at you thinking that's how to get a mate. It's an awe inspiring icon of strength and fortitude, but my fucking hairy Odin-chin it's a slow ass motherhubbard despite it's renowned "intelligence" is still a pungent beast who communicates through grunts, shrills and bad broken Japanese.
Go see what the Law of Jante is all about and remember all of it. You're no better than everyone else, you're nothing special, you're not above anyone else. You got that? Now tell me after all your planning of shit that revolves around you is it worth the hassle and stress you get from it? Do people like you more or less now? Are you the kind who is so concerned over people liking you that you're not even doing it for yourself anymore but doing it it because you want people to like you? This attention seeking irrelevance is choking anything good that we have.
Well if "likes" were cakes and candy you'd be all full with magical di-ha-beet-us, right? But it's not. Oh shit, sit down, do you feel okay? I better get you some water. Drink it all, good kid. Btw that was neat vodka, man the fuck up.
I've said this before; the true megastars of the cosplay scene are people who have these things in common;
- They don't care if you like them or not
- They're doing what they love, for themselves
- They won't make you feel like shit for not having a professional grade costume
- They appreciate effort and energy
- They will freely give advice and encouragement
Hell even I'm too shy to thank Xaerael for his inspiration and knowledge he shares because I think I'll melt into a puddle of giggly shit cus he's goddamn amazing at his stuff. Yet I don't see him waving his shit in everyone's faces or even trying to become famous. He's doing what he loves, just another one of us.
This was never supposed to be a popularity contest, and the stupid thing that those are won by not even trying. I don't envy those with the most attention, or the ones with the amazing outfits. I envy those having the most fun.
Hours, days, years and many years. That's how long it takes to get truly good, when you work on your passion for a sickening amount of hours and you feel like giving in but you push through like some kind of masochist with a sewing machine. It's truly hard to say how many hours because the only real answer to that is how long is a piece of string? Just be prepared for that string to be long enough for Kim Jong Un to fashion into his latest Capitalist message interception net.
Society promotes quick fixes in fame, and that stamps on effort and passion like how my upbringing stamped out basic emotions such as empathy, sympathy and not punching people in the teeth. Quick fixes are as wrong as this list of shite I just pulled from the MCM Expo Group page;
- Douchebag who posted his mobile number on a public page
- Dickmuffin who posted something about intended to throw paper shuriken. Law suit in 3....2...
- Self righteous justice fighters who don't really know what the crapola they're on about
- A kid who used the N word profuuuuusely (Yeah he went there, ain't nobody got time for that)
- The axewound disharge who posted for a free hug. I seriously don't know if that is obvious troll or not.
- The pikachu onesie group that makes me wish that I didn't live on this planet anymore
And lastly the fact that the group is a prime breeding ground for creeps, paedophiles and image whores which gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside when shit is deleted without warning. Oooh, nostalgia.
I fucking love bullet points
~Warai
Ps. You're lucky I'm not linking the Glengarry Ross speech.
Showing posts with label free hugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free hugs. Show all posts
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Merchandise and Cool Stuff
Most anime/manga fans have some kind of badge/headband/scarf/gratuitous scarring of some sort to tell the entire world of their hobby, as if they enjoy rubbing it in everyone's faces with calloused knuckles. If it's not the cosplayer who wears their outfit for no real purpose other than meeting friends in town, it'll be that douche with the naruto headband or Elric jacket. Hell I even saw one jackass with Kamina glasses, which just made him look like a white Squirtle. Use your sweat blaster attack!
As part of that crowd I kinda can't help but do it too, and I hope I'm not one of those wet sacks of blubber with what I own. I've got a very worn down DBz wallet which either gets me looks of disgust or lots and lots of conversation from hidden DBz fans. At one point I had a huge stencil of The Big O on my satchel, though a lot of ham-brained idiots thought it was transformers, the fucking numpties. But that's as far as I'd go, because we'd only have those items for one of 2 reasons; We properly love the series/item/character or we like the accessory. Anything else makes you one of those attention whores who hopes someone will notice their Ciel plushie and green wig (seriously, why the green wig!?) and go "hey you like watching the manga too? What anime do you read?". Let's face it, if you've ever put on anything and thought "I hope people notice me because I'm advertising this media" you may as well tattoo "DOUCHE" on your forehead. You can use your naruto headband to cover it up.
Sure you could plaster yourself in plastic crap like some kind of christmas tree that tokyopop vomited on, or you could go to geniunley decent places like Nerdycupcake that sell various awesome stuffs that doesn't make you look like you'd buy any old shite as a token of credibility. Seriously, go there now and check it out.
Most of the time we have the T-shirts that have some ridiculously niché meme, of which this is funny but I swear to Odin that one that has any reference to 4chan earns you a one way ticket to faggotcity. What a lot of people don't realise is that if you wish to be closer to your anime/manga, then stop caking yourself in merchandise to decorate yourself like a single woman in a mid-life crisis, and start wearing quirky yet nice things! Nerdycupcake. Doooo it.
Before I sign off, I wanna say what's worse that the pissbuckets who wear shit just to get noticed. Not only do they lower themselves to the standards of the free-huggers; a sub-species that has been proven to only have <10% brain capacity which puts them at the same level as a mentally handicapped spider monkey, but for fucks sake.. why are you absolute bastards when we do actually notice you've got an alchemic array on your glove or we saw your cowboy bebop shirt? It's not enough you just jizzed your pants because you got the attention you hungered for but you have to be a knob about it too? Being too nonchalant and blasé that you come across as patronizing and elitist, well you can fuck right off. Then fuck off some more, and when you've fucked right over there, fuck off again. You fuck. I once complimented a girl on her anime theme jacket, I got a dirty look and an inaudible response. I mean it would have been completely perfectly fine for her to have done that if I had my hand down my pants gripping my junk hard and asking her if I could smear a fine layer of my seed over such a sweet jacket or that it would have made a decent rag for my weeping third eye. But I'm quite sure I didn't bring my tackle into the conversation, and before anyone goes "But she might have been shy!" Bullshit, bullshit comes out your mouth you arseface. Why don't I bend over whilst you blow smoke up my poopshoot too because there's a hell of a lot of weak-ass pricks using that "I'm shy" excuse to make life easier for them. And no, she was not. She was just an ass.
~Warai.
Thursday, 31 May 2012
As a Cosplayer
At one point in my life I used to try and cater what I say to everyone, that had me crash and burn out because there's just no pleasing everyone. So I thought I'd just cater to the intelligent folk.
[Quick note before I launch into this; for you pricks who thought I was complaining in my last post, go suck a dick. That was a review, an observation, written in the way I write. If I ever complain I do so to the relevant persons so I don't waste my efforts. All of this is a form of journalism and blogging, you morons.]
This post is about hostility between cosplayers. It is not about what constitutes good/bad cosplay, nor is it a rant telling people what they should and shouldn't do. The fact I have to spell this out makes me not want to live on this planet anymore because some cretin will come along, get butthurt and completely miss the point.
Staying "middle of the road" does nothing to convey one's message, it's simply directionless waffle. I chose to play the Devil's Advocate or to be more concise; be vocal about being the Devil's Advocate. Many of you have thought about the things I say already, I know this because it's started more internet arguements than Religion, Drugs, Animeleague, and Goku vs Superman.* This proves that many people have thought about what I say.
*For the record Batman would fuckin' kick everyone's ass. He's the Goddamn Batman. He'd absorb Goku's energy attacks with his relay gauntlets, use the energy to pull a meteor out of orbit with a network of WayneTech Sattellites and plough that 72megaton space nugget into Goku's nutsack after having him chase ghosts and shadows on the dark side of the motherfuckin' moon. Don't even get me started on how he'd bend Superboy over and Leeroy Jenkins his internal organs with the Batfists.
I'll try to explain as much as I can because I've never actually seen anyone articulate enough to take the time and spell it out for everyone to understand. You see I'm a cosplayer, holy crapola no shit son. I don't claim to be the best, I have my strengths and weaknesses much like anyone else and I have my own reasons. I'm the kind who works to his strengths and has fun with what he does. However I see many who make it sound like they're not really having fun at all, and this confuses me. Why would you go do something to bitch and whine about it afterwards? Oh yeah, internets! Oh you!
In my last post I mentioned something about random fucknuts in certain accessories who claim they're cosplayers, many seen at Expo. There are no rules on cosplaying, but a couple of themes and I'll explain;
- Have fun in what you do. It's about having fun, because the only other reasons you should be doing it is because it's a favour to a friend, or you're getting paid to do it. If you're doing it for attention, you're pretty much an attention whore, superficial, shallow, uninteresting and knowing you is more of a chore than a friendship.
- Love the character, love the costume, or both. I'll not claim you should know the character, some of us properly fall in love with the outfit before we know anything about the character. Hell, the Japanese make a pasttime about getting into hobbies and knowing nothing about it (case in point is Gunpla, you get hobbyists who've never watched one episode of Gundam, yet love the mechs, models and putting the kits together. They don't even intend to watch an episode.) Again, reasons why you wouldn't do it for these two reasons fall into a favour, or getting paid. If you're doing it for the sake of having people take pictures and swoon over you, then you fall into the catagory I like to call the "Jeremy Kyle Guestlist".
Those two pretty much cover it, and it's not limited to Anime/Manga. Some people I know do it for movies, Sci Fi, TV, Internet etc etc. It's a massive spread of media.
But understand this; there are many who put more effort into these costumes than you could imagine. They may not be the grand elite, they just love what they do. Imagine how they feel when they see obvious n00bs at an event who've half-assed a cosplay. Sure these faggots are new to the game, but we're not talking novice mistakes, we're talking "I'm pretty sure Captain Hitsugaya has white hair, not a brown ponytail.." or "Hey, I know I don't read Kuroshitsuji, but did that kid with the eyepatch wear converse?". Seeing individuals who half-ass it, throw on a random wig, dress up in faux-lolita dresses and end up looking like teenie whores who've magnetised themselves and rolled around in Claire's Accessories, all of that is a bit insulting to many cosplayers. All this hard work we put in gets trampled on.
I know many cosplayers who go as far as changing their body type to be able to cosplay certain characters. I'm not saying everyone should do it, I'm saying be aware of the level of dedication some people put in. We can tell how much effort someone has put in, trust us, you don't wanna know how hardcore some of us get in this hobby.
Those who are blatantly out for attention/social acceptance I perceive in the same light as free huggers/douchebags who hold up signs to explain their cosplays/that school bully who couldn't read/assbagels who only stick to their own little cliques/hardcore AL'ers/alcoholics or people who like to be known as an alcoholic*. Basically, it's stupid, unintelligent, unoriginal, immature and just sad.
*Real Alcoholism is horrific, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. It's an addiction and destroys families and people in the same way that using bad Japanese in your sentences destroys any shred of respect I have for you as a person, human, lifeform, mass of protoplasm, worm fuel. To brag that you are an alcoholic is stating you simply enjoy alcohol, you douchebag poser.
Excuses don't wash either. Such as "I'm Naruto when he's at his Bah Mitzvah" or "I'm cosplaying Guy Shishio if he was at the sexual health clinic" or "This is my Master Asia when he's at the beach".. Shit like that makes me wanna tear a weeb apart with a clawhammer, it's just excuses. Especially when it's so out of character. Maybe.. MAYBE you'll get away with something like "This is Ichigo cosplaying Zangetsu"; in fact I saw two truly inspired ones last Kitacon: Garrus Vakarian and Thane Krios from Mass Effect as Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction. Both characters are badass, and it's just makes sense, hats off to Manticore and Manjou. They nailed that harder than Thor with itchy hammer arm.
We've seen adaptations, some good, some bad. Some we can't help such as the gender transitions, and gijinkas. However I'm pretty sure than a pikachu gijinka wouldn't show underboob. Pikachu just isn't a "sexy" pokémon, unless that's just my personal tastes.
If you do find pikachu a sexy little bastard, then follow me on Twitter and read my brain farts since you're already a sick bastard it's not gonna do any more damage.
~Warai Otoko
[Quick note before I launch into this; for you pricks who thought I was complaining in my last post, go suck a dick. That was a review, an observation, written in the way I write. If I ever complain I do so to the relevant persons so I don't waste my efforts. All of this is a form of journalism and blogging, you morons.]
This post is about hostility between cosplayers. It is not about what constitutes good/bad cosplay, nor is it a rant telling people what they should and shouldn't do. The fact I have to spell this out makes me not want to live on this planet anymore because some cretin will come along, get butthurt and completely miss the point.
Staying "middle of the road" does nothing to convey one's message, it's simply directionless waffle. I chose to play the Devil's Advocate or to be more concise; be vocal about being the Devil's Advocate. Many of you have thought about the things I say already, I know this because it's started more internet arguements than Religion, Drugs, Animeleague, and Goku vs Superman.* This proves that many people have thought about what I say.
*For the record Batman would fuckin' kick everyone's ass. He's the Goddamn Batman. He'd absorb Goku's energy attacks with his relay gauntlets, use the energy to pull a meteor out of orbit with a network of WayneTech Sattellites and plough that 72megaton space nugget into Goku's nutsack after having him chase ghosts and shadows on the dark side of the motherfuckin' moon. Don't even get me started on how he'd bend Superboy over and Leeroy Jenkins his internal organs with the Batfists.
I'll try to explain as much as I can because I've never actually seen anyone articulate enough to take the time and spell it out for everyone to understand. You see I'm a cosplayer, holy crapola no shit son. I don't claim to be the best, I have my strengths and weaknesses much like anyone else and I have my own reasons. I'm the kind who works to his strengths and has fun with what he does. However I see many who make it sound like they're not really having fun at all, and this confuses me. Why would you go do something to bitch and whine about it afterwards? Oh yeah, internets! Oh you!
In my last post I mentioned something about random fucknuts in certain accessories who claim they're cosplayers, many seen at Expo. There are no rules on cosplaying, but a couple of themes and I'll explain;
- Have fun in what you do. It's about having fun, because the only other reasons you should be doing it is because it's a favour to a friend, or you're getting paid to do it. If you're doing it for attention, you're pretty much an attention whore, superficial, shallow, uninteresting and knowing you is more of a chore than a friendship.
- Love the character, love the costume, or both. I'll not claim you should know the character, some of us properly fall in love with the outfit before we know anything about the character. Hell, the Japanese make a pasttime about getting into hobbies and knowing nothing about it (case in point is Gunpla, you get hobbyists who've never watched one episode of Gundam, yet love the mechs, models and putting the kits together. They don't even intend to watch an episode.) Again, reasons why you wouldn't do it for these two reasons fall into a favour, or getting paid. If you're doing it for the sake of having people take pictures and swoon over you, then you fall into the catagory I like to call the "Jeremy Kyle Guestlist".
Those two pretty much cover it, and it's not limited to Anime/Manga. Some people I know do it for movies, Sci Fi, TV, Internet etc etc. It's a massive spread of media.
But understand this; there are many who put more effort into these costumes than you could imagine. They may not be the grand elite, they just love what they do. Imagine how they feel when they see obvious n00bs at an event who've half-assed a cosplay. Sure these faggots are new to the game, but we're not talking novice mistakes, we're talking "I'm pretty sure Captain Hitsugaya has white hair, not a brown ponytail.." or "Hey, I know I don't read Kuroshitsuji, but did that kid with the eyepatch wear converse?". Seeing individuals who half-ass it, throw on a random wig, dress up in faux-lolita dresses and end up looking like teenie whores who've magnetised themselves and rolled around in Claire's Accessories, all of that is a bit insulting to many cosplayers. All this hard work we put in gets trampled on.
I know many cosplayers who go as far as changing their body type to be able to cosplay certain characters. I'm not saying everyone should do it, I'm saying be aware of the level of dedication some people put in. We can tell how much effort someone has put in, trust us, you don't wanna know how hardcore some of us get in this hobby.
Those who are blatantly out for attention/social acceptance I perceive in the same light as free huggers/douchebags who hold up signs to explain their cosplays/that school bully who couldn't read/assbagels who only stick to their own little cliques/hardcore AL'ers/alcoholics or people who like to be known as an alcoholic*. Basically, it's stupid, unintelligent, unoriginal, immature and just sad.
*Real Alcoholism is horrific, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. It's an addiction and destroys families and people in the same way that using bad Japanese in your sentences destroys any shred of respect I have for you as a person, human, lifeform, mass of protoplasm, worm fuel. To brag that you are an alcoholic is stating you simply enjoy alcohol, you douchebag poser.
Excuses don't wash either. Such as "I'm Naruto when he's at his Bah Mitzvah" or "I'm cosplaying Guy Shishio if he was at the sexual health clinic" or "This is my Master Asia when he's at the beach".. Shit like that makes me wanna tear a weeb apart with a clawhammer, it's just excuses. Especially when it's so out of character. Maybe.. MAYBE you'll get away with something like "This is Ichigo cosplaying Zangetsu"; in fact I saw two truly inspired ones last Kitacon: Garrus Vakarian and Thane Krios from Mass Effect as Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction. Both characters are badass, and it's just makes sense, hats off to Manticore and Manjou. They nailed that harder than Thor with itchy hammer arm.
We've seen adaptations, some good, some bad. Some we can't help such as the gender transitions, and gijinkas. However I'm pretty sure than a pikachu gijinka wouldn't show underboob. Pikachu just isn't a "sexy" pokémon, unless that's just my personal tastes.
If you do find pikachu a sexy little bastard, then follow me on Twitter and read my brain farts since you're already a sick bastard it's not gonna do any more damage.
~Warai Otoko
Monday, 28 May 2012
MCM London Expo May 2012 - "No shit, son"
Coming to my blog and asking for a good review of the Expo is a bit like going to a Halal Butcher's and asking for a pork chop and a pepperami, you may as well be eating a bacon sandwich at the time.
So what are you here for? Ah yes, the inevitable grilling of a meatgrinder for logic that is MCM Expo. Bear in mind, you douches, that certain things here are fact, and certain things here are my opinion. Learn to distinguish the two, or do one.
Now, for all I've said about free huggers, I must say I'm actually impressed that I barely saw any. Sure I saw the shitty signs they made which looked like it was made in the special class with the broken crayons, but for me it felt like a significant decrease. So well done you plebs, your ranking in my books is less negative than usual. I did get glomped, by one little girl but I'll let her off. That level of joy for my character I was cosplaying was genuine, I just wish she could have used words and sentences but when you're a glomper I guess many neural connections are fused solid with stupidity. I'm kicking myself because I never got a picture of her friend's despair face when I turned her down for a hug. Bugger.
I had plans, and actual passion for stuff for expo once. I even had it prior to this expo, but as I got there it faded fast and I found myself pinned under the gravity of apathy. I just wanted to get out, and you know when you get that mini-sick in your throat?
Getting the tickets was okay, but a pointless queue after I got my ticket was just.. wtf.. I feel like asking for that time back. Literally queuing for nothing, I may be delicious with hot sauce but I am not livestock. But let's gloss over that.
Entering expo hall, holy crap I almost facepalmed so hard I tickled my brainstem with my elbow; Yaoi Guy RIGHT THERE. After all the complains about this dude, and they call ME a troll. I am, but I gotta hand it to the organisers for Trolling me and the other 10,000 attendees back. Placing a vile douche who screams and shouts about non-hetero sexual cartoons as the first stall on entering? A family event where you hear "GLORIOUS MAN SEX" Either this really is a troll or someone's getting the world's best reach-around.
The hall itself got packed, ridiculously packed. Wall to wall stupid meat shuffling around, I kinda think that the pointless queuing beforehand was a gentle way of grooming us into being livestock. It was actually interesting to see people walk in, take 5 steps then turn right and head immediately for the exit with a "FUCK THIS SHIT" expression. The Irish guy behind me said, and I quote "Feck me sideways Gary, ye said this was about anime not a clusterfuck. Shall I take me clothes off now, because I know someone's getting shagged in this feckerama."
Feckerama. Irish Guy, where ever you are, you sir are a Legend.
I don't see this problem of volume ever getting solved, it's gonna get packed in harder than that storm trooper and his armour with the 18 stone swagger.
Some other shit happened and some shit didn't happen, nothing really interesting about that. I can say that Security for the swim event, and the swimmers themselves were very pleasant and straight forward. They did have a point for moving the sitting Expo attendees for blocking a through-fare, we can't argue against that.
What did happen that I've just heard about is a little bit more serious than free hugs and that faggot who called my cosplay a Slenderman, lurk moar newfag, is that an attendee of the Expo went home with a broken leg. Put your pocky down, and read that again. Many of you may know a douche who drinks petrol called Crimson (nevermind the fact that he gets his alcohol from me). As they were walking his friend suddenly faceplanted the floor and let out a yell that pretty much told everyone in the 7 mile radius he wasn't fucking around. An open unmarked deep drain, took a couple of hours for the ambulance to arrive and the nearby hotel staff came out, looked at the drain, herpaderped and then covered it up/put signs up/stuffed the yaoi guy in it and cemented it over [/Ifuckingwish.]
Also this from Crimson:
Now, I hear this is the jurisdiction of the ExCel, NOT Expo for giving this guy a shattered knee and a bad Skyrim meme for the rest of the term of his injury. We wish him all the best and hope he gets better soon, and that the douchebagel who left the drain open gets a honeybadger to the crotch.
Well done ExCel. Well done.
Something else that hounded me all weekend was that I didn't see many stunning cosplays, sure there were tons of knobheads in wigs, but no amazing individuals milling around in the crowds. I didn't want to stick around for the masquarade, I wanted to go talk to someone about their freakin' awesome costume and all I saw was the same carbon cutout mass produced monkeys that were kicked through Tokyopop. I know for a fact that there are amazing cosplayers at the Expo, yet they choose not to be in the crowds or go round the expo hall much. Instead they have photoshoots away from the event itself. As these individuals create a void, the uneducated masses and have-a-go cosplayers take over the event.
For a moment, think about what just happened in the past 5 years. Anime and Manga got a hell of a lot more accessible, the younger crowd got involved and to those of us who have been in it for a while or from the start it all looks so superficial. That's how elitism begins. It's also how that undying urge to sock an L cosplayer right in the kidneys starts off.
MCM Expo is the event that caters for the masses, from the novice to the intermediate. The hardcore, veterans etc will find it annoying and a pain in the arse. The heavyweight God-Tier cosplayers go to showcase their works of art due to the size of the event.
This is where conventions come in, for those of us that have gone past Expo and need something else. I don't want to promote hatred or incite mob mentality for anyone who works really hard and it's clear that the Expo staff work pretty hard, even if some of them are arsebagels. However they have a target audience, and if you didn't like the expo then you fall into a minority for them which is outside that target audience.
What I'm saying is support your conventions, and go all out at those events. They give you so much more and they're always a hell of a time. It makes me sad that Kitacon won't run till 2014, as that is by far my favourite. Where else could I get drunk, do a front flip, ruin a game, and win a pony all in 10 minutes?
(Ranzatsu, please do another Con! Hell I'll even do that satirical panel I said I'd do on how to deal with weebs. I'll make it so funny I'll get sued for multiple internal organ rupture from making the audience laugh so hard they have to sign non-disclosure forms and wear mandatory catheters as they'll fucking piss themselves senseless.)
There's so much more love for cosplay, anime, manga, games and the whole culture at a convention that makes Expo feel heavily watered down, drawn out and stuffed with so many idiots that I feel if I stick around any longer than 3 hours I need to get to the bar to kill my braincells with beer before the ambient stupidity does it for me- I'm looking you twats dancing at the exit to the ticket hall, picked a more inconvenient spot to dance? Yes? Go die in a fire, you make me want to tear my spine out through my mouth and beat you to death with it.
Now, if you ever used the line "Expo was like kicking away horseshit with a fine pair of Italian loafers to get to a bar of gold at the bottom, and by that I mean I only endured the feckarama to see my wonderful friends" or similar, then link this blog to your facebook and for the love of David Hasselhoff's glorious chest hair use the word "feckarama" in your daily vocabulary.
~Warai Otoko
So what are you here for? Ah yes, the inevitable grilling of a meatgrinder for logic that is MCM Expo. Bear in mind, you douches, that certain things here are fact, and certain things here are my opinion. Learn to distinguish the two, or do one.
Now, for all I've said about free huggers, I must say I'm actually impressed that I barely saw any. Sure I saw the shitty signs they made which looked like it was made in the special class with the broken crayons, but for me it felt like a significant decrease. So well done you plebs, your ranking in my books is less negative than usual. I did get glomped, by one little girl but I'll let her off. That level of joy for my character I was cosplaying was genuine, I just wish she could have used words and sentences but when you're a glomper I guess many neural connections are fused solid with stupidity. I'm kicking myself because I never got a picture of her friend's despair face when I turned her down for a hug. Bugger.
I had plans, and actual passion for stuff for expo once. I even had it prior to this expo, but as I got there it faded fast and I found myself pinned under the gravity of apathy. I just wanted to get out, and you know when you get that mini-sick in your throat?
Getting the tickets was okay, but a pointless queue after I got my ticket was just.. wtf.. I feel like asking for that time back. Literally queuing for nothing, I may be delicious with hot sauce but I am not livestock. But let's gloss over that.
Entering expo hall, holy crap I almost facepalmed so hard I tickled my brainstem with my elbow; Yaoi Guy RIGHT THERE. After all the complains about this dude, and they call ME a troll. I am, but I gotta hand it to the organisers for Trolling me and the other 10,000 attendees back. Placing a vile douche who screams and shouts about non-hetero sexual cartoons as the first stall on entering? A family event where you hear "GLORIOUS MAN SEX" Either this really is a troll or someone's getting the world's best reach-around.
The hall itself got packed, ridiculously packed. Wall to wall stupid meat shuffling around, I kinda think that the pointless queuing beforehand was a gentle way of grooming us into being livestock. It was actually interesting to see people walk in, take 5 steps then turn right and head immediately for the exit with a "FUCK THIS SHIT" expression. The Irish guy behind me said, and I quote "Feck me sideways Gary, ye said this was about anime not a clusterfuck. Shall I take me clothes off now, because I know someone's getting shagged in this feckerama."
Feckerama. Irish Guy, where ever you are, you sir are a Legend.
I don't see this problem of volume ever getting solved, it's gonna get packed in harder than that storm trooper and his armour with the 18 stone swagger.
Some other shit happened and some shit didn't happen, nothing really interesting about that. I can say that Security for the swim event, and the swimmers themselves were very pleasant and straight forward. They did have a point for moving the sitting Expo attendees for blocking a through-fare, we can't argue against that.
What did happen that I've just heard about is a little bit more serious than free hugs and that faggot who called my cosplay a Slenderman, lurk moar newfag, is that an attendee of the Expo went home with a broken leg. Put your pocky down, and read that again. Many of you may know a douche who drinks petrol called Crimson (nevermind the fact that he gets his alcohol from me). As they were walking his friend suddenly faceplanted the floor and let out a yell that pretty much told everyone in the 7 mile radius he wasn't fucking around. An open unmarked deep drain, took a couple of hours for the ambulance to arrive and the nearby hotel staff came out, looked at the drain, herpaderped and then covered it up/put signs up/stuffed the yaoi guy in it and cemented it over [/Ifuckingwish.]
Also this from Crimson:
Hotel Douche Staff: Yeah, that's dangerous.
*Geoff is screaming in pain*
Me: NO SHIT ASSHOLE.
Now, I hear this is the jurisdiction of the ExCel, NOT Expo for giving this guy a shattered knee and a bad Skyrim meme for the rest of the term of his injury. We wish him all the best and hope he gets better soon, and that the douchebagel who left the drain open gets a honeybadger to the crotch.
Well done ExCel. Well done.
Something else that hounded me all weekend was that I didn't see many stunning cosplays, sure there were tons of knobheads in wigs, but no amazing individuals milling around in the crowds. I didn't want to stick around for the masquarade, I wanted to go talk to someone about their freakin' awesome costume and all I saw was the same carbon cutout mass produced monkeys that were kicked through Tokyopop. I know for a fact that there are amazing cosplayers at the Expo, yet they choose not to be in the crowds or go round the expo hall much. Instead they have photoshoots away from the event itself. As these individuals create a void, the uneducated masses and have-a-go cosplayers take over the event.
For a moment, think about what just happened in the past 5 years. Anime and Manga got a hell of a lot more accessible, the younger crowd got involved and to those of us who have been in it for a while or from the start it all looks so superficial. That's how elitism begins. It's also how that undying urge to sock an L cosplayer right in the kidneys starts off.
MCM Expo is the event that caters for the masses, from the novice to the intermediate. The hardcore, veterans etc will find it annoying and a pain in the arse. The heavyweight God-Tier cosplayers go to showcase their works of art due to the size of the event.
This is where conventions come in, for those of us that have gone past Expo and need something else. I don't want to promote hatred or incite mob mentality for anyone who works really hard and it's clear that the Expo staff work pretty hard, even if some of them are arsebagels. However they have a target audience, and if you didn't like the expo then you fall into a minority for them which is outside that target audience.
What I'm saying is support your conventions, and go all out at those events. They give you so much more and they're always a hell of a time. It makes me sad that Kitacon won't run till 2014, as that is by far my favourite. Where else could I get drunk, do a front flip, ruin a game, and win a pony all in 10 minutes?
(Ranzatsu, please do another Con! Hell I'll even do that satirical panel I said I'd do on how to deal with weebs. I'll make it so funny I'll get sued for multiple internal organ rupture from making the audience laugh so hard they have to sign non-disclosure forms and wear mandatory catheters as they'll fucking piss themselves senseless.)
There's so much more love for cosplay, anime, manga, games and the whole culture at a convention that makes Expo feel heavily watered down, drawn out and stuffed with so many idiots that I feel if I stick around any longer than 3 hours I need to get to the bar to kill my braincells with beer before the ambient stupidity does it for me- I'm looking you twats dancing at the exit to the ticket hall, picked a more inconvenient spot to dance? Yes? Go die in a fire, you make me want to tear my spine out through my mouth and beat you to death with it.
Now, if you ever used the line "Expo was like kicking away horseshit with a fine pair of Italian loafers to get to a bar of gold at the bottom, and by that I mean I only endured the feckarama to see my wonderful friends" or similar, then link this blog to your facebook and for the love of David Hasselhoff's glorious chest hair use the word "feckarama" in your daily vocabulary.
~Warai Otoko
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
A Fun Game For All!
This May MCM Expo I can't say for definite if I am to attend, however I'd like you all to play a game for me.
If you like Schadenfreude then this is right up your street.
If you are approached by a free hugger or anyone that insists they hug you as if pressing their sweaty body upon you will grant them the strength to plough through another box of pocky, say No and take a picture of their rejection face.
Upload, or e-mail them to me (click here you silly moo) and I'll go ahead and display my favourites. Winner recieves a drawn picture of them beating up a weeb in whatever manner they wish, runners up win a cola, or something.
Extra points if you manage to get one of the following out of them, or anything else that's mega awkward
- Non-contact hi5
- Praying hands and bow with "Namaste" (Hindu style greeting)
- Make them do 5 pressups before a hug (Walk off before they get up)
- Elbow to elbow touch
- E.T. Style finger tip touch
- Russian Cossack dance
Follow my twitter on https://twitter.com/KoheeKuma
For updates and such, along with general douchery and information on what kind of cats I like best.
~Warai Otoko
If you like Schadenfreude then this is right up your street.
If you are approached by a free hugger or anyone that insists they hug you as if pressing their sweaty body upon you will grant them the strength to plough through another box of pocky, say No and take a picture of their rejection face.
Upload, or e-mail them to me (click here you silly moo) and I'll go ahead and display my favourites. Winner recieves a drawn picture of them beating up a weeb in whatever manner they wish, runners up win a cola, or something.
Extra points if you manage to get one of the following out of them, or anything else that's mega awkward
- Non-contact hi5
- Praying hands and bow with "Namaste" (Hindu style greeting)
- Make them do 5 pressups before a hug (Walk off before they get up)
- Elbow to elbow touch
- E.T. Style finger tip touch
- Russian Cossack dance
Follow my twitter on https://twitter.com/KoheeKuma
For updates and such, along with general douchery and information on what kind of cats I like best.
~Warai Otoko
Friday, 4 May 2012
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