You're Not Anything Special

I read something interesting in the news today, about The Law of Jante.

Today we live in a world of perpetual adolescence where the average individual of age tends to indulge in childish notions. I'm no different, I make engine sounds a lot, even when I'm driving my car. The internet is a wealth of knowledge yet many don't get past Facebook, Twitter, or that site where I download porn with hedges and shrubs. It's all so easy for you, yet unless it's linked to you and given on a silver platter in a bitesize format it will be lost to you forever.

The Law of Jante lists a few things that can be summarised in two words; Be Modest. However even this is too difficult a notion to comprehend because it means you've got to utilise your gray matter to work out how to implement and use such advice. We need to break it down further into an idiot sheet of what to do and what not to do, hence why you see factsheets on how to attend a fucking convention by yours truly, goddamn you're welcome.

It makes me feel pretty wrong when I have to spoon feed it to those who need it, because I'm enabling their dependence on babyfood information. Trust me, I feel pretty wrong as standard after seeing an Ent orgy and there's no limit of sodium hydroxide showers that I need to feel clean again. I thought we were getting somewhere, that free hugs and idiots were dying out. Seems someone threw some pocky on that fire and cranked up the Carmeldansen to 11 because suddenly there's a fucking outbreak of stupidity that makes me feel like giving my eyes a shower with a bottle of concentrated Listerine.

I personally think the community in it's entirety has become an Elephant. A grand majestic beast, exotic and huge. But it cranks out so much shit you could almost drown in it. If you're not careful it can crush you. It will devour and consume a hell of a lot then want more. The adolescent males sometime stink like shit and for some stupid reason they just won't start charging at you thinking that's how to get a mate. It's an awe inspiring icon of strength and fortitude, but my fucking hairy Odin-chin it's a slow ass motherhubbard despite it's renowned "intelligence" is still a pungent beast who communicates through grunts, shrills and bad broken Japanese.

Go see what the Law of Jante is all about and remember all of it. You're no better than everyone else, you're nothing special, you're not above anyone else. You got that? Now tell me after all your planning of shit that revolves around you is it worth the hassle and stress you get from it? Do people like you more or less now? Are you the kind who is so concerned over people liking you that you're not even doing it for yourself anymore but doing it it because you want people to like you? This attention seeking irrelevance is choking anything good that we have. 

Well if "likes" were cakes and candy you'd be all full with magical di-ha-beet-us, right? But it's not. Oh shit, sit down, do you feel okay? I better get you some water. Drink it all, good kid. Btw that was neat vodka, man the fuck up.



I've said this before; the true megastars of the cosplay scene are people who have these things in common;
 - They don't care if you like them or not
 - They're doing what they love, for themselves
 - They won't make you feel like shit for not having a professional grade costume
 - They appreciate effort and energy
 - They will freely give advice and encouragement

Hell even I'm too shy to thank Xaerael for his inspiration and knowledge he shares because I think I'll melt into a puddle of giggly shit cus he's goddamn amazing at his stuff. Yet I don't see him waving his shit in everyone's faces or even trying to become famous. He's doing what he loves, just another one of us.

This was never supposed to be a popularity contest, and the stupid thing that those are won by not even trying. I don't envy those with the most attention, or the ones with the amazing outfits. I envy those having the most fun.

Hours, days, years and many years. That's how long it takes to get truly good, when you work on your passion for a sickening amount of hours and you feel like giving in but you push through like some kind of masochist with a sewing machine. It's truly hard to say how many hours because the only real answer to that is how long is a piece of string? Just be prepared for that string to be long enough for Kim Jong Un to fashion into his latest Capitalist message interception net.

Society promotes quick fixes in fame, and that stamps on effort and passion like how my upbringing stamped out basic emotions such as empathy, sympathy and not punching people in the teeth. Quick fixes are as wrong as this list of shite I just pulled from the MCM Expo Group page;

 - Douchebag who posted his mobile number on a public page
 - Dickmuffin who posted something about intended to throw paper shuriken. Law suit in 3....2...
 - Self righteous justice fighters who don't really know what the crapola they're on about
 - A kid who used the N word profuuuuusely (Yeah he went there, ain't nobody got time for that)
 - The axewound disharge who posted for a free hug. I seriously don't know if that is obvious troll or not.
 - The pikachu onesie group that makes me wish that I didn't live on this planet anymore
And lastly the fact that the group is a prime breeding ground for creeps, paedophiles and image whores which gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside when shit is deleted without warning. Oooh, nostalgia.

I fucking love bullet points
~Warai

Ps. You're lucky I'm not linking the Glengarry Ross speech.

No More Nice Guys/The Creep

Sometimes it seems like there's two distinct worlds. One of the normal folks who go about their daily lives like everyone else, then that of the anime/manga/cosplay community. Sometimes the contrast is subtle, sometimes it's as stark as mistaking a pint of Vodka for Water. Sometimes it's such a contrast, that you don't even see the differences because you're so immersed in it; a blinding tunnel vision of stupidity, and when you finally take a step back you realise it doesn't really matter if someone on the interblags mocked your taste in animu.

Here's something that starts off in the muggle world, falls down the anime "rabbit-hole" then lands face first in Wonderland on a trident to the eyesockets which blinds everyone to the faggotry of it all. 

You know that thing girls say, or even some guys say "I wish I could find someone nice.."? That's fucked up isn't it? There's no nice people, ever, you dickwads. We're all malfunctioning meat machines who bludgeon our way through life with as much grace as a drunk Disco-Fu with a cudgel. 

Sometimes we expect too much, sometimes we think we know best, that if we try our best to be nice, to be there for someone that they'll develop feelings for us and we'll win them over. High aspirations and trust me when I say you're not ready for the fall of rejection. 

Rule 1# No-one ever won someone over with their own feelings alone.

If the other person does not reciprocate, you're dead in the water.

You'd think that this would be common knowledge, like trying to stick gaffa tape on a wet surface, trying to mix oil in water or integrating your average hardcore AnimeLeaguer into a non-deranged-weaboo-y group without expecting blood. However you've got to give credit to the determined ones, who believe outright that if they pursue and pursue, they'll get their rewards. Maybe he/she will think of a romantic plan, spend time, money, effort on something nice with the hope of reward... Sounds nice, right? How many of you think this sounds nice, and how many feel a bit sick at that thought? I'm betting the ones who don't think it's nice have experienced just that.

Rule 2# Going to measures which cost time/money/effort and expecting something back in return isn't sweet, it's manipulative.

Do you really think that's attractive, to emotionally blackmail someone? Do you really think that's the epitome of selfless?

At this point the nice guy look, or girl for that matter, is goes down faster than the ratio of girls to guys at the average AL cosplay clubnight. Enter the Disillusioned Creep; this one is actually a nice person but for the life of him/her has no clue as to how bad they're making themselves look. 

An ex-gf of mine (Ahahaha fuck you, yes I am able to find a partner despite being retardely crippled in the empathy/emotional parts of the brain and several other non-essential human traits) once launched a rather viscous, yet hilariously weak attack on someone I was seeing at the time in order to try and "win me back". Now think about this for a second, how fucking retarded must one be to assume human beings work like magnets? inb4howdotheywork, the thought pattern "If I eliminate the one in my way, he'll have no choice but to come back to me!" The sentiment is quite sweet, really. But that's a level of crazy I simply don't want to get into, and trust me I dabble with crazy how I like honey; I like it errrrrywhere. But I'm still gonna think that girl is a fucking nutcase, yet she was a perfectly adjusted normal girl.

I'm not gonna type this and pick a side, because I'm greedy, I'll take everything or nothing. And in this case I won't pick a side. There are enough girls and guys out there who lead others on, who like to have in depth conversations with you about douchenugget #428 that treats them like shit and yet you're the one who gets the brunt of their whiny drivel. If only you can box up the verbal diarrhea that comes out and send it to douchenugget #428 with a "THIS BELONGS TO YOU, YOU ASSBAGEL. xXx" stamped on it. If only.. 

I know it fucking hurts to be there for someone for so long, only for them to get with a real ass-munching dickwad of a turdburgler when you know that you are 10 times the person they are. 

Rule #3 Complaining there's no nice people, then stamping out whatever little goodness there is in someone because you're so wrapped up in yourself is unforgivable. 

The world would be a better place if we stopped putting ourselves first, and thought about others.

At this point the Disillusioned Creep goes one of many ways, two in particular are the most common choices. He/she may surface out of the animu world and realise their actions have been that of incredible dumbassery, or he/she may continue and turn into that creepy son of a bitch; that next-level weapons grade unbelievable creep who gets a reputation and has to be mentioned so he/she isn't invited to certain things.

I've tried to help some of these individuals, I believed it was the right thing to do. But it didn't take long for me to realise I may as well go kick some shit with a pair of new shoes for all the good I was doing. Some people just don't want to, or can't learn. It's not their fault, it's not our fault, it's just how they are.

We all know someone like this, the kind of person who says the same line to everyone he or she meets to evoke sympathy.
"No-one likes me.."
"I've never had a girlfriend/boyfriend"
"They all hate me for some reason"
"All my friends turned on me for no reason"

Any sane person would have warning bells flag up, but give that person the benefit of the doubt before they reach a conclusion. I would, you should, and a small minority of assbagels would stupidly only go on someone else's opinion of someone else which is strictly positive OR negative, not both. So these weird ones continue thinking they're not doing anything wrong; invasion of personal space, being too comfortable/friendly, overstepping boundaries etc etc. Sound familiar? These idiots are partly responsible for making a lot of people look bad as it's always easier to remember the negative.

Sometimes we all need to stop and think for a moment in the terms of the society we live in. We are in the UK which aims for a multicultural, polite and sensible society. There isn't any room for asking people you barely know very intimate questions about themselves, pressuring the opposite sex (or same, whatever) into breaking down because you came on far too strong and relentlessly, intentionally making someone feel bad to get your own way or sending them crypic anonymous letters like some 18th century mincer.

Stop thinking about how you can get what you want, and just be nice. Don't take things so seriously, and for the love of Odin be realistic. 

On that same note, for my fellow men who've had to deal with years of bullshit on the "I wish I could find a nice guy like you" line, I feel your pain.

Here's Rabbit with a cover of Bad Religion's "Dearly Beloved" for those of us who've been there yet refuse to let it consume us.

~Warai Otoko