Convention Review: Amecon 2012 [3 Mile Walks and Backdoor Smashers]

About this time about two-three weeks ago I was at Keele University campus for Amecon 2012, my first Campus based convention. Two main things that stand out from a campus based convention is that there are less general public around and you'll have to do a fuckton of walking. That aside, it was quite enjoyable. It would have been more enjoyable if I hadn't broke my goddamn 2 litre stein when I checked in, but I guess it was karma for me not to walk around with more beer than is humanly logical.. Fuck you Karma. Fuck you.

The only major downside I found was the cost and the difference in facilities. You see, to pay a bit extra gets you a lot more however that cost to start with is already fucking painful to start with and you do run the risk of feeling like you didn't get your monies worth if you don't throw yourself into the deep end.

So lets get started!
Accommodation
Standard student halls. Okay so it's the most expensive part and you get a choice of ensuite or non. Personally I went ensuite because I like the option of hosing myself down after a technicolour yawn in case it's not as tidy as I had hoped. Having been through a variety of student accommodations in my heyday as a dirty student I can say it's pretty decent, albeit the motion sensitive "Jedi" showers were a fucking pain in the arse to operate/adjust. The rooms were tidy nonetheless and functional. They even gave a little kettle and tea/coffee thingies in the room which I thought were nice considering it was a university not a hotel.

Food
Breakfast was pretty fucking awesome. Seriously! Though the coffee was liquid shame the rest of it was on par with some of the large hotel conventions; Hilton standard at least. From there it gets sketchy, food is available from a studenty type restaurant but till like 4, then you've got takeouts from what I believe or the mini-mart on campus where you can stuff for later. Handy as there are microwaves in the kitchens at the student halls. And for the really hardcore twats out there, ovens! Yeah, check that shit out.

You can do what I did and get a chinese take-out on the Friday (furama palace I think) spend about £5 and get enough food to last you 2 days. I'm not joking, massive portions and value for money. Unless of course I had stumbled upon magic egg fried rice that never ends, stranger things have happened.

Conventioning
Holy feckerama, there's so much going on and I even managed to wangle myself into the Masquarade! The committee, or rather Ilpala was really sound about me getting in last minute; no groans or hiccups and for that I'm really thankful. I've even gotta hand it to GrannyGertrude for his announcement for me"Alan Gabriel from Big O- BIG-O BIG-O BIG-O!" A thing Big O fans get from the ridiculous intro sequence. That pretty much made it for me, and my first masquerade was a lot of fun. Big shout out to Tino and Rob for being legends with the facepaint emergency, muchos gracias.

The masquarade itself was a little unorthodox for me as I'm used to seeing one single stage, this one was all the way through the Student Union with several stop points and I'll be honest I was so paranoid about being as good as I could be that I probably ran through the entire thing like a coked out butterfly. The Masquerade briefing could have been a little better rather than a glorified role call -IT'S PRONOUNCED "VALLON"- but hey we got the gist.

Party-wise it was pretty hit and miss, catering to a lot of genres but again that's what the convention scene is about; varied tastes that generally hit within the mainstream of our collective tastes. I got my DJ Snap conventioncore set, which had me rave out like a Disco-Fu after an eyeball injectionful of DMAA. Something was pretty awesome about the Student Union Layout; if you didn't like the nightclub part you could go next door to the very warm and welcoming bar, play some pool, get a cheap ass drink, have your backdoor smashed in or be entertained by the hilarious bar staff. Saying the "drinks were cheap" is an understatement along the same depth as "Neil Armstrong was a cool guy" or "Mike Towers is a bit of a shady character", because how much better can you get other than Student Bar prices? I barely spent £20 the entire weekend, maybe £10 of drinks bought for me because I'm a classy mother hubbard like that, I probably consumed about half a bottle of Kraken Rum too and found myself nicely inebriated through the entire gig. I didn't get drunk off my face because due to the walks I'd have found myself waking up in a hedge or in a tree with a crown.. I'm looking at you Cid. I had quite a few shots called BackDoorSmashers which was essentially everything in a shot and tasted like a party in my mouth, you know the kind of party that ends with the police getting called round several times and someone getting knifed with a broken Pink Floyd CD.

As a conclusion, anyone who is into the convention scene needs to attend Amecon at least once and get in the deep end. Although not as glamorous as Kitacon it does the basics incredibly well and the sheer scale of the Con is not something to be missed. Though anyone used to a Hotel Convention will find the area difficult to cope with at first, once you nail the timings you'll be fine.

Pack a camera and take along a little more maturity than you would normally, this is one convention where you can get a hell of lot out of it. A lot of friendly faces and appreciators of the more obscure cosplays.

~Warai Otoko

No More Nice Guys/The Creep

Sometimes it seems like there's two distinct worlds. One of the normal folks who go about their daily lives like everyone else, then that of the anime/manga/cosplay community. Sometimes the contrast is subtle, sometimes it's as stark as mistaking a pint of Vodka for Water. Sometimes it's such a contrast, that you don't even see the differences because you're so immersed in it; a blinding tunnel vision of stupidity, and when you finally take a step back you realise it doesn't really matter if someone on the interblags mocked your taste in animu.

Here's something that starts off in the muggle world, falls down the anime "rabbit-hole" then lands face first in Wonderland on a trident to the eyesockets which blinds everyone to the faggotry of it all. 

You know that thing girls say, or even some guys say "I wish I could find someone nice.."? That's fucked up isn't it? There's no nice people, ever, you dickwads. We're all malfunctioning meat machines who bludgeon our way through life with as much grace as a drunk Disco-Fu with a cudgel. 

Sometimes we expect too much, sometimes we think we know best, that if we try our best to be nice, to be there for someone that they'll develop feelings for us and we'll win them over. High aspirations and trust me when I say you're not ready for the fall of rejection. 

Rule 1# No-one ever won someone over with their own feelings alone.

If the other person does not reciprocate, you're dead in the water.

You'd think that this would be common knowledge, like trying to stick gaffa tape on a wet surface, trying to mix oil in water or integrating your average hardcore AnimeLeaguer into a non-deranged-weaboo-y group without expecting blood. However you've got to give credit to the determined ones, who believe outright that if they pursue and pursue, they'll get their rewards. Maybe he/she will think of a romantic plan, spend time, money, effort on something nice with the hope of reward... Sounds nice, right? How many of you think this sounds nice, and how many feel a bit sick at that thought? I'm betting the ones who don't think it's nice have experienced just that.

Rule 2# Going to measures which cost time/money/effort and expecting something back in return isn't sweet, it's manipulative.

Do you really think that's attractive, to emotionally blackmail someone? Do you really think that's the epitome of selfless?

At this point the nice guy look, or girl for that matter, is goes down faster than the ratio of girls to guys at the average AL cosplay clubnight. Enter the Disillusioned Creep; this one is actually a nice person but for the life of him/her has no clue as to how bad they're making themselves look. 

An ex-gf of mine (Ahahaha fuck you, yes I am able to find a partner despite being retardely crippled in the empathy/emotional parts of the brain and several other non-essential human traits) once launched a rather viscous, yet hilariously weak attack on someone I was seeing at the time in order to try and "win me back". Now think about this for a second, how fucking retarded must one be to assume human beings work like magnets? inb4howdotheywork, the thought pattern "If I eliminate the one in my way, he'll have no choice but to come back to me!" The sentiment is quite sweet, really. But that's a level of crazy I simply don't want to get into, and trust me I dabble with crazy how I like honey; I like it errrrrywhere. But I'm still gonna think that girl is a fucking nutcase, yet she was a perfectly adjusted normal girl.

I'm not gonna type this and pick a side, because I'm greedy, I'll take everything or nothing. And in this case I won't pick a side. There are enough girls and guys out there who lead others on, who like to have in depth conversations with you about douchenugget #428 that treats them like shit and yet you're the one who gets the brunt of their whiny drivel. If only you can box up the verbal diarrhea that comes out and send it to douchenugget #428 with a "THIS BELONGS TO YOU, YOU ASSBAGEL. xXx" stamped on it. If only.. 

I know it fucking hurts to be there for someone for so long, only for them to get with a real ass-munching dickwad of a turdburgler when you know that you are 10 times the person they are. 

Rule #3 Complaining there's no nice people, then stamping out whatever little goodness there is in someone because you're so wrapped up in yourself is unforgivable. 

The world would be a better place if we stopped putting ourselves first, and thought about others.

At this point the Disillusioned Creep goes one of many ways, two in particular are the most common choices. He/she may surface out of the animu world and realise their actions have been that of incredible dumbassery, or he/she may continue and turn into that creepy son of a bitch; that next-level weapons grade unbelievable creep who gets a reputation and has to be mentioned so he/she isn't invited to certain things.

I've tried to help some of these individuals, I believed it was the right thing to do. But it didn't take long for me to realise I may as well go kick some shit with a pair of new shoes for all the good I was doing. Some people just don't want to, or can't learn. It's not their fault, it's not our fault, it's just how they are.

We all know someone like this, the kind of person who says the same line to everyone he or she meets to evoke sympathy.
"No-one likes me.."
"I've never had a girlfriend/boyfriend"
"They all hate me for some reason"
"All my friends turned on me for no reason"

Any sane person would have warning bells flag up, but give that person the benefit of the doubt before they reach a conclusion. I would, you should, and a small minority of assbagels would stupidly only go on someone else's opinion of someone else which is strictly positive OR negative, not both. So these weird ones continue thinking they're not doing anything wrong; invasion of personal space, being too comfortable/friendly, overstepping boundaries etc etc. Sound familiar? These idiots are partly responsible for making a lot of people look bad as it's always easier to remember the negative.

Sometimes we all need to stop and think for a moment in the terms of the society we live in. We are in the UK which aims for a multicultural, polite and sensible society. There isn't any room for asking people you barely know very intimate questions about themselves, pressuring the opposite sex (or same, whatever) into breaking down because you came on far too strong and relentlessly, intentionally making someone feel bad to get your own way or sending them crypic anonymous letters like some 18th century mincer.

Stop thinking about how you can get what you want, and just be nice. Don't take things so seriously, and for the love of Odin be realistic. 

On that same note, for my fellow men who've had to deal with years of bullshit on the "I wish I could find a nice guy like you" line, I feel your pain.

Here's Rabbit with a cover of Bad Religion's "Dearly Beloved" for those of us who've been there yet refuse to let it consume us.

~Warai Otoko