Convention Review: Gemucon 2013 [Cupcakes, Beachballs and That's so Gemubaby]

Reviews, we love reviews. Seems everyone and their pony is doing reviews, but this isn't so much an account of how I felt but what the Con was to me. If you want to write a diary try livejournal, or a little book with a flimsy lock on it that will protect your feelings.

Last weekend I attended Gemucon 2013 and it was a very interesting convention. I'm sure all of us who had attended enjoyed it thoroughly and are sitting comfortably cracking walnuts, coconuts and other consumables that humans usually use tools for with our thighs, after having to use all 20 flights of pain stairs to get to the games rooms.

Gemu for me started on the Thursday night where we kinda picked a venue that was too good for getting wasted at. I met Jakeachu and Rilack there where Jake and I jumped up and down shouting "SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS" to persuade Rilack to do silly shots with us. I'll not get into the machinations of how that went but it was a pretty awesome ice breaker, even if Rilack bought me a shot of something I could use to neutralise most toxins or strip the rubber off a car tyre. That troll convinced almost everyone to get classy and dress up then turned up in a T shirt.. Pains me to say this but well played good sir.

Accommodation
I didn't actually stay at the Britannia but I did see the rooms and although small they were not too shabby. A friend of mine stayed at the Park Plaza which was across the road and insanely spacious and nice, I tried to camp there but he was having none of it. I stayed at the Travelodge down the road which was okay apart from the drunk Nottingham people and the pub next to it, don't expect to sleep there because it'll annoy you senseless. We found out the joys of earplugs that stay, or drinking yourself into sleep/unconscious. Still for £25 a night it was pretty budgetcon and you didn't need to walk past reception to get to your room.

Food
Again did not stay at the Britannia, but we were in Nottingham City Centre. All you had to do was sneeze and several noodle shops would pop up.

Conventioning
The opening ceremony was a little slow to get going, as well as Friday night party. In all honesty I walked away from it as there was no saving that. What hit me right off the bat was the amount of socially awkward individuals and the boy-girl ratio made me think that females were suddenly DLC only. However the attendees were very well behaved and much quieter than most Anime Con attendees which was nice. Though the thing about smearing the free cupcakes on the banisters pissed me off; you'd need to be pretty fucking retarded to think that's a fun thing to do. Oh fuck, what to do with a free cupcake firstworldproblemsohmy... Smearing cupcakes on your body is horrible and wrong, it disgusts me and makes me wish there was a porn for it.

I can't remember most of Friday other than hobbling about in a half-assed daze being hungover and gallivanting around as a TF2 red spy.

By the time Saturday came about it was pretty widely known that punctuality wasn't a strong suit on the con, but it's rare to see that at most conventions anyway. Most of the day was spent going up and down the stairs in the Brittania hotel, with the stairwell caked in coffee cups, empty energy drink cans, glowsticks and the sweat of a thousand cyber athletes. You lot probably didn't know those muscles existed and now you can't even sit without getting a rash on your inner thighs. The games rooms didn't look so bad but I had to re-inject my bloodstream with cans of relentless by the time I got to the top, so I didn't really get an opportunity to have a game in between fashioning an IV drip out of tescobags and more spent glowsticks. I'm not gonna lie when I say this con had glowsticks, glowsticks everywhere, in your ears, in your hair. Though there was a table at the top with a sheet of paper that was available for doodling so I wrote "FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 0800-R-I-L-A-C-K"

My little crew had come prepared and caked ourselves in UV reactive and glowing gear, enough to make passers by think everything went nyancat. We got to the party and were begged to get it started. You asked, we delivered, you're welcome. On a serious note I gotta say I was happy that DJ Snap was there but I'd heard a lot of that mix at Kita and Ame and at Gemucon itself in the same fucking set you played it in! I really love DJ Snap mixes and the first time I heard the Kita mixes there were special times in my pants, but I was so drunk I was drinking near neat vodka (it was a mixer for my rum) and even I noticed everything sounding exactly the same as anything uploaded on Youtube and the Pokémon track played twice. The only thing that almost nullifies my arguement here is that Gemu is not an anime convention and as far as DJ Snap could be concerned Gemucon attendees are a completely different crowd (that said the fucking flyer was handed out at anime conventions that Snap had played at). Still it was something I had looked forward to and I can't help but feel short changed on that.

Fucking beachballs. Not the huge kind, we're talking football sized ones. Sure if the dancefloor is heaving a huge beachball would be cool but when you put a couple of beach balls in a sparse dancefloor that is 80% guys, you'll get a fucking kickaround. Who's idea was it to go "hey man let's fuck up a rave by playing keepy-uppy with balls that blow away with the slightest light fart"? If y'all kept it to yourselves then no problem, except for the sweaty lads landing on me who made me wish I'd wore my Metal/Rock gear, maybe impale a beach ball or three. Hell son if you want a mosh pit I'll show you a mosh pit, put your WKD down and put your damn shirt back on.

I owe DJ LastKnight a very hard kick to the ribcage, when DMX vs Thomas the Tank Engine came on I folded up and laughed my rocks off. Then I looked round and saw half the crowd looking at him, and the other half trying to carry on dancing to it regardless. That was it man, game over; I almost blacked out from laughing too hard and my girlfriend thought I was having an asthma attack on the floor. I think I'm still bleeding inside my chest, LastKnight, you chug lyf motherlugger.

The Geekton factor was one of the highlights for me, though half my team didn't turn up it ended up with myself, my girlfriend in the cosplay she won the masquerade in and four very young attendees who knew a fucking shit-ton of gaming knowledge. Big thank you to Zelly for the special sweeties for me, they were a sugary party in my mouth. There were a couple of teams at this event who were a bit too serious for their own good and not really the kind who where there to get into it and have some fun. If you get too serious you're not having fun, so shut the fuck up and appreciate your damn prizes from the Shite Box. Also for the person who had a glowstick leak on them; forgive me for not shouting; "BATHE IN IT".

Cosplay was slightly stranger than many Anime Cons, I won't say there were a lot of cosplayers and the Gamer crowd really brought out some special gems like the nice girl who won the Masquarade as Eliza Casshan from Deus Ex. I caught up with her and found out the entire cosplay is hand stitched from pleather taking her months to do entirely from scratch. If you cannot comprénde then think about a boxful of kittens playing with some string, haha they're so cute aren't they? She even got a douche to do some sewing for her the night before. Props to her and a deserved win I say. The Executioner at the Masquarade was amazeballs and really shoulda socked it to That Link Guy- OHHHHH SHIT SON YOU THOUGHT I'D FORGOT ABOUT HIM. Him. Well, to those who don't know The Link Guy was some douche in a Link cosplay who practically annoyed everyone he came into contact with and played his ocarina so much he had requests to stop playing. And guess what guys? He vlogs too. If you're reading this Jimmy, then I'll kindly re-direct you to my response to your shenanigans. In any case the masquerade was short and sweet; some stunners and some time wasters, I'm looking at you Link. I also heard you got banned from the Convention on sunday night, life achievement unlocked! 5G.

(Side note: don't go flaming the fuck out of him guys, it's far too easy.)

Now I'm not sure what it was about that side of Nottingham town centre but we saw a lot of non-convention drunk people. A drunk middle aged couple fell down on a traffic island and we went to help them, I watched because I'm a pretty shady looking character as it is and me helping up a drunk well dressed guy in the streets looks like a mugging from too many right angles. We spent another 10-15 minutes watching them amble up the road, that was entertainment right there. Then there was the hairy rambler who wanted me in his band, had to tell him my name was Marcus The Octopus to get away only to find the damned noodle shops were all shut. I shoulda taken him up on the offer, everyone said my first album should have been "Freshly Baked" (We ended up in Subways). I can't say shit however, I got so drunk Thursday, Friday and Saturday that come Sunday night I was drinking near neat vodka and struggling to get a happy alcohol rush. I ended up giving it away to Leon whom I hope it hit him like a brick to the cornea, I got you bro, I got you.

There are mixed reviews on Gemucon but I for one thoroughly enjoyed it. It felt a little like a Fushicon and that's not a bad thing, loads of connections were made and in-jokes made too. Most of the hate seems to come from things that no-one could have helped and I get the feeling that some of you wanted to it go down the pan. But it didn't and there were a lot of people who enjoyed it. Any haters? Headbutt a moving train and leave us to it.

But let me draw next set of conbadges? I draw mech and girls. I promise that whatever I draw won't have any extra elbows. When I pointed that out to Tomska he threw it away like a soggy nappy/BNP leaflet, still I really wanted that drawn picture of him with his willy out. Hah gaaaaaaayyyy..

Shout out to the girl who ran into a mirror, the guy who flipped his shit because he lost a quiche, the person who puked a trail of puke from the bar to the toilets like a magical technicolour yawn/rainbow path. GG
Shout out to the guy who looked like Tom Cruise and bought me a Guinness. GfuckingG.
Shout out to Team Neko, Conn, Rilack and Jakeachu you happy awesome buggers

There are so many people I can't highlight you all, so Gemucon, all of Gemucon, GG.

~Warai Otoko

Ps. I wrote this in stages to make sure there wasn't anything I missed. Of course I probably did, anything you'd like to highlight please stick in the comments box, mail, tweet or flash your ankles at me... Phhhwoorr...

Conventioning 101

I was approached by Rilack of Gemucon to write up a guide on how to convention for beginners for the Gemucon Conbook. This posed a bit of a problem because I really wanted to do it and I was kinda shitting myself because I had to tone down my usual sarcastic doucheyness. In fact Rilack told me to make sure it was readable by anyone 16+ regardless of the fact that many attendees would be Xbox live players and well versed in the art of profanity. In any case, my review will be up shortly of the convention itself, and here's the article I wrote for it. There will be a few things echoed from Conventioning 102 but I'm quite happy with it.

How to Convention 101

Hello! And welcome to Gemucon 2013! My name is Jae, I’m a blogger under the name of Warai Otoko and everywhere else I’m JaeXD. Disregard my bad grammar, I warn you there will be a lot of it and an excessive use of the comma. In fact if anyone here studies English at a degree level or teaches it, please do not read any further and forgive me for setting any potential students back a few years in their syntax. For those of you who know me and my blog you’ll fare pretty well as you know the score, but unfortunately I’m not allowed to go full throttle here or Rilack will beat me with the Fist of Rukt.

    So here’s an article on how to maximise your time at a convention by yours truly, so if you really want to grab the action by the polar regions then read on, you lucky lucky people.

This is pretty straight forward and for the most part echoes the rules of the Convention, which you should go read if you haven’t done so. It’s okay, go ahead right now and read. I’ll stare at you uncomfortably as you do so.

Done? Good good, read on.

Food - Eat it. I don’t know how some people forget to do it, I wind up cranky and cantankerous if I haven’t eaten for more than an hour (more so than usual) but it’s understandable that there’s so much to do/see that you don’t think you’ll have enough time. Thankfully Gemucon is in Nottingham city centre, so run out and grab a bite to eat.

Drink - For conventions pack some isotonic drinks and make sure you drink the entire bottle if you start to feel a bit run down. These are pretty damn handy in the morning after a hard night’s thrashing around on the dancefloor like the greatest Magikarp attack impression. Regarding alcohol; adhere to the rules of the convention on that and if you do drink then do so with consideration. The committee are all issued with gravity hammers, just so you know.

    I’ll assume many of you are gamers who love carbonated beverages and the energy kind. Many of you however aren’t like me in that your blood isn’t mostly comprised of coffee, or XtremeCaffeine whose adrenal glands have biceps. I implore you to take it easy with the energy drinks or you’ll have a ridiculously harsh crash that’ll make you feel like forgetting to save your progress on Ninja Gaiden after those damn fire spider ninja shank you in the coccyx with those exploding shuriken.. For the love of Jenova, they were out of view on the screen how could I see them!? …  So take it easy on the energy drinks, unless you too cannot function without eating ground coffee beans or a bowl of cornflakes and relentless instead of milk.

   

Etiquette - Don’t get me wrong, when you’re in a place with a few hundred other people who share a hell of a lot of your interests it’s rather easy to feel like we’re all mates. In a sense we are, but like that friend who you don’t see very often and you have to get to know a little better before you jump on their back and start screaming “Death To The Covenant” and let’s be honest you can’t even do that with your best mates half the time, if I had mates I could put that to the theory. So don’t jump on or glomp anyone which is doubly important if they’re in costume.

    Let’s say you see a Chun Li cosplayer, I’m the first one to admit that yes I once had the hots for her sprite way back on the SNES with SF2 Turbo. I mean holy sugar mitts, dem thighs. Sure she was only a handful of pixels but what I would give to have her spinning bird kick me... Lost about half an hour in thought there. Anyway, you’ve got to remember that Chun Li isn’t a real person and that lass in the cosplay, no matter how amazingly stunning she is to you is still a real person who has every right not to be leered on or be treated as an object. This also goes for the guys with unholy chiselled abdominals or in that costume you girls love, for the love of Sparta don’t fling yourselves at him like soggy lovesick ragdolls. If you want a hug just ask, it’s okay to hug just ask before you do so you don’t accidentally damage cosplay. I like hugs too and one day I’ll get one from a real person too.
    Ask before you take photos and whenever possible exchange details on where they’ll be able to find the photos. Also let whoever you take a picture of have a look and say on whether you should keep or delete the photo. Nine out of ten photos of me look like I’m eating a tennis ball or about to go into hysteria mode, and I know you’d appreciate it too if you had the chance to ask for a re-take so you don’t end up put online looking like you’re having a happy in your pants.

Looking after yourself - Get a freakin’ shower at least once a day and use deodorant. You lot are pretty lucky, 5 years ago at conventions it was rare to shower and you could literally see the funk emanating from individuals. But we aren’t gonna do that at Gemucon, are we? Are we? HMMMM? Good. Now remember, lather, rinse, repeat. Always repeat. There’s another part to that but Rilack says if I mention how to have fun the “Jae Way” he’ll have at my kidneys with a plasma sword..

    Pack your medication and whatever you need to keep yourself running in sound condition. Personally I have a bag for painkillers, inhalers, mouthwash, engine oil and plasters. Having an emergency sewing kit in there would be pretty damn handy too.

    For the important stuff; always carry your ID on you and show your con badge so everyone knows who you are. Don’t carry any more money than you need and zip/button up your pockets to be on the safe side. I might sound like Daddy Jae here, however you need to remember that there will be a lot of people there and things can go missing unless you make sure you know where your personal items are.

Sleep is key for a good convention, sure some people pull all nighters and consider themselves the party equivalent of a visible pantyline but if you want to get the most out you need to get some quality sleep in. This’ll save you from shuffling about like the missing zombies from the Wii version of Dead Rising and on top form if you’re in any game tournaments. Don’t think that caffeinated drinks can save you from sleep either, when you need to sleep you need to sleep. Unless you’re Rilack; he doesn’t sleep, he waits.

What I’ve mentioned so far is common sense, but above all please respect those around you including anyone staying at the hotel who isn’t there for the convention. No, that’s not Pheonix Wright or Rude looking for Reno, that’s some guy in a suit. Probably. Don’t shunt/push or use your bodyweight like a meaty snowplough if you want to look at a stall. The hotel isn’t your house either so don’t think it’s fine to scream down the hallways shouting FUS RO DAH in your Dovakin fluffy hat. Hotel Security totally won’t get the joke and you won’t either when they find you. In fact go read the rules again just for good measure. Yes I am staring at you again.

    Make use of what’s available to you for the events, there’s so many on and it would be a waste not to get stuck in. There’s game tournaments, a cosplay masquerade and my favourite; The Geekton Factor hosted by Team Neko. If you like to party, and we love to party, you’re in the right place; when you see that group of attendees who’ll look like they’re having a cracking time you should go ask them what the cheat codes are to hadouken your boredom in the taint. Get stuck in and make friends, don’t be afraid to ask someone about their costume or just get up and say hello. Try not to disturb anyone whilst they’re having a break from being in character, I know I like to finish my sandwich/AA battery/coffee before I get back into the swing of things.

    Lastly, if you spot a committee member, take the time to thank them for what they’ve put on for you and maybe buy them a drink to say cheers for the gig. A little appreciation goes a long way.

That’s all from me but if you’ve got questions feel free to find me and ask. But I’m not telling you my badgename ohohohoho!

Remember folks;

>Eat
>Sleep
>Breathe

>Vidya Gamez

Conventioning 102

I should really do a "Conventioning 101" however that more or less gets covered in many FAQs for first timers at conventions. So here's my version which is for intermediattes, experts and more importantly the bored and energetic. It'll be stuff I do, stuff I don't do but want to, stuff I don't want to do anyway and stuff that is stupid enough to have you catapulted to The Convention halls of fame and/or stories we take away with us.

I should also note I'll do a seperate one on "How to Tokonatsu" and that'll have a downloadable disclaimer which exempts me from all responsibility and also entitles me for 80% of impending royalties if you get super fucking famous from it.

I'll assume that you too are a heavy drinking knobhead who has a decent tolerance/dependence on caffeine. Not everyone drinks beer (but bloody well should) so I'll factor that in.. reluctantly.

Amongst your standard crap you bring, YOU WILL NEED:
Hipflask
Moneyclip
Hat (I recommend bowler)
The glowsticks that aren't bendy
Wet wipes
Hair spray
Mouthwash
Contraceptives

Your hipflask is important, don't fill it with anything less than 15% alcohol unless you have an alcohol tolerance of a southerner or you'll be constantly refilling it. I prefer scotch or absinthe as the extra alcohol acts like a cleaning agent against bacteria and memories of *that* girl doing *that* dance.

Before you get to the con, prepare! Personally I'd suggest getting enough money to make a run to the local supermarket at the convention itself to avoid heavy luggage. Sometimes you can't do this when you're so arse-bleedingly far from the convention that you're rogered without a car (Kitacon, Tokonatsu). If you're in a town centre that's even better; root around the biggest supermarket for the best deals to bring back enough intoxicants to render you and your bezzies technically flammable by the evening. You'll need it. Be sure to get some powerade too, or any isotonic drink. Great for hangovers and sobering up fast for when you have to explain why you took a shit and set it on fire before flinging it at your -former- mates in the world's greatest pokemon impression. Of that monkey thing with the fire. You know the one.

Parties are awesome and rocking out in your cosplay is even better. Big kudos to that Belle in the ballgown (Beauty and the Beast) who was headbanging with the rest of us plebs. But you wanna go all night and be alert, we all know alcohol is a depressant so it'll slow you down. Check into a sports shop and get a sachet/bottle/vial of a pre-workout drink. This has a metric fuckton of caffeine and other stuff designed for sports people to ramp up their workouts like a coked out hummingbird. Big alertness and little to no "crash" because they're designed not to. Just be prepared to not sleep till the next day.

We love food, and we need food but somehow a staggering amount of you forget to get food and put it in your face. Personally I'm not quite sure how one of your basic survival requirements gets forgotten, but no worries. Just wake up and get down to breakfast (if there is one) to stuff yourself silly, take a bag too and see how much you can sneak off. I was so close to being able to carry round a mug of coffee with me last Kita.. so goddamn close.

Feel like you wanna stand out a bit more at parties? Don't feel glamoured up enough? Are Team Neko making you feel inferior because they somehow managed to wear so many glowsticks that if XtremeCaffeine  dances hard enough you'll see rainbows on your vision for a week? Some things we can't help such as Team Neko's insane love of glowsticks, but what we can do is find a few T shirts that glow/uv react. If you're a fan of Cyberdog like me, you'll know they're the best source of rave gear (If anyone wants to prove otherwise, feel free to direct me where to throw my money for more rave gear).
Getting on Ebay will also get you to bulk buyings of glowsticks and it's always good if you wanna get loads with your mates or if you feel like handing them out like the creepy man giving away sweets at the playground, because everyone wants what you got.

At times you won't feel like you've got time, and drinking takes time, right? WRONG. Carry some straws in your pocket so you can shotgun entire bottles of beverage as if you're sipping it. Don't do more than 3 in one go unless you have a stomach of titanic proportions or you wanna show your mates what you meant by "Technicolour yawn". Though if you can/want to do more than 3, whether it is bitchpops or beer please take a video of it and send it to me. It'll make a change from all the hedge porn I'm getting, but hey who wouldn't sign up to "Fuckin' Shrubberies XXX"? I also suggest having an alcoholic beverage in the shower/bath, as this is always super fun, unless you're blind drunk then I accept no responsibility for you braining yourself on the taps. Please send pictures though.

Making friends may seem tricky and some people resort to signs. Now if this were a good idea then signposts and lamposts up and down the country would best mates. In fact some have more than me, but let's gloss over that because I don't want to spend too long wishing I had friends as I've got to make some fake profiles on facebook and kid myself for a bit longer. A good way to make friends is to compliment them on their cosplay and be down to Earth and somewhat more corporeal than many present themselves as. (However due to that many people won't be ready for someone actually down to Earth at Expo, and may react adversely such as hyperventilation, broken bad Japanese, guttural throat sounds, severe defecation and sweaty hugging). I wouldn't even try throwing catnip or balls of yarn at the catgirls or furries, it's a waste of time and they just steal your fucking yarn for use as a free prop.
However you didn't come here to do things by halves, so here's what you do; find the party animals. I'm not talking about that girl who blazes herself like a moist teatowel across the forums in an effort to show how cool she is, there's like 7-8 different ways this would pan out as bad but I'm already waist deep in Angry Lesbian ranty mode here and if I go anymore I may as well cut off my junk, buy a chequered shirt and quiff my hair. You must find the Party Animals, these beasts of conventions are actually tough to find and a rare species. Some may even get wasted before the parties start and get carried off by their mates, I can't even dream of being that awesome. Not in public anyway because you can get in trouble when it's apparent you've got a raging boner. Finding them depends on experience and you'll have to be prepared to stay up all night, but I know you little fuzzybums are hardcore and you can do it! Best place to look is to the committee/organisers, they'll know who to tell you to find. It'll be a crazy night but well worth  it, take along at least one full bottle of vodka and leave your mobile phone in your room.

Yatak's Con Essentials is a golden set of rules for any weeb at a con, however rule 7 is quite important;
Bring Condoms. People actually do the horizontal shuffle at conventions, and the last thing you want is to be caught short and use one of those white ones with TESCO written on the side. I'm joking, don't use a tesco bag as contraceptive. You've got more class than that, use a Sainsburys one.

Hanging out at the bar with your mates is a staple of the convention. That feeling of knowing you spent a crapton of money to be there only to do what you can do in any bar back home for free. Use this time to get nicely wasted with that bottle of JD in your bag so it looks like you're getting drunk on cola. Also check out what special drinks they're doing for you special con-goers. These are always full of win, such as the infamous Amecon Back Door Smasher. Anything alcoholic that is named after reaping great vengeance upon one's coccyx has got to be good. Get 3-5 of them to make sure it really tickles your taint, you'll like it after the 4th, honest.

You're waking up in bed as if the Hulk had teabagged you into it, half awake with a mouth full of funk and a head full of hurt. What do? Well don't stay there, you're wasting time! Drag your sorry ass to the bathroom and get a powerade down, or water. Drink it all in one go if you can, you need to process that fluid before your morning Guinness. If there's a sachet of coffee, eat that and get in the shower, right now I don't care what you do because no amount of cleaning will remove those memories but you do need to get yourself straight. Put the Rocky theme on, Eye of the Tiger and pump yourself up! (Personally I do this, but with the intro theme to Fist of the North Star, the not Gackt version). I tend to bundle my clothes into sets, so I pull out a set of clothes in a neat bundle. Clean yourself, chew toothpaste in the shower and get something to drink. When you get to breakfast start on the eggs and meat, high amino acid profiles/protein will assist in breaking down the alcohol in your system. Lots of coffee and/or a Guinness to top up your iron levels should seal the deal. And yes, I did say eat the coffee granules, don't be a pussy.

When you come to the sunday of the Con, try and pack your shit up the best you can and find something to put all your alcohol into, like a fishbowl or some shit. I guess you could save it and take it home, but you gotta carry it and waahhwahhhwaahhh. Don't mix beer and liqour unless you're ridiculously awesome to the max. You've got one more day of the convention to shuffle through so smash back a pair of paracetamols and have at it like the worlds most fabulous swashbuckler. If you're lucky they'll play the Pokémon theme at the party so you can do all the actions to it, if you're lucky you may win some new friends. .. That's a lie, it never works, no matter how heartfelt my actions to the song are.. OHH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND! IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND!! .. My best friend... friend...

By the time it comes to Monday morning then you are on your own. Hopefully you'll feel like a bag of smashed arseholes with equal amounts regret and joy. But that is called living and for more information leave a comment or email or something, yeah.

~Warai Otoko

Convention Review: Amecon 2012 [3 Mile Walks and Backdoor Smashers]

About this time about two-three weeks ago I was at Keele University campus for Amecon 2012, my first Campus based convention. Two main things that stand out from a campus based convention is that there are less general public around and you'll have to do a fuckton of walking. That aside, it was quite enjoyable. It would have been more enjoyable if I hadn't broke my goddamn 2 litre stein when I checked in, but I guess it was karma for me not to walk around with more beer than is humanly logical.. Fuck you Karma. Fuck you.

The only major downside I found was the cost and the difference in facilities. You see, to pay a bit extra gets you a lot more however that cost to start with is already fucking painful to start with and you do run the risk of feeling like you didn't get your monies worth if you don't throw yourself into the deep end.

So lets get started!
Accommodation
Standard student halls. Okay so it's the most expensive part and you get a choice of ensuite or non. Personally I went ensuite because I like the option of hosing myself down after a technicolour yawn in case it's not as tidy as I had hoped. Having been through a variety of student accommodations in my heyday as a dirty student I can say it's pretty decent, albeit the motion sensitive "Jedi" showers were a fucking pain in the arse to operate/adjust. The rooms were tidy nonetheless and functional. They even gave a little kettle and tea/coffee thingies in the room which I thought were nice considering it was a university not a hotel.

Food
Breakfast was pretty fucking awesome. Seriously! Though the coffee was liquid shame the rest of it was on par with some of the large hotel conventions; Hilton standard at least. From there it gets sketchy, food is available from a studenty type restaurant but till like 4, then you've got takeouts from what I believe or the mini-mart on campus where you can stuff for later. Handy as there are microwaves in the kitchens at the student halls. And for the really hardcore twats out there, ovens! Yeah, check that shit out.

You can do what I did and get a chinese take-out on the Friday (furama palace I think) spend about £5 and get enough food to last you 2 days. I'm not joking, massive portions and value for money. Unless of course I had stumbled upon magic egg fried rice that never ends, stranger things have happened.

Conventioning
Holy feckerama, there's so much going on and I even managed to wangle myself into the Masquarade! The committee, or rather Ilpala was really sound about me getting in last minute; no groans or hiccups and for that I'm really thankful. I've even gotta hand it to GrannyGertrude for his announcement for me"Alan Gabriel from Big O- BIG-O BIG-O BIG-O!" A thing Big O fans get from the ridiculous intro sequence. That pretty much made it for me, and my first masquerade was a lot of fun. Big shout out to Tino and Rob for being legends with the facepaint emergency, muchos gracias.

The masquarade itself was a little unorthodox for me as I'm used to seeing one single stage, this one was all the way through the Student Union with several stop points and I'll be honest I was so paranoid about being as good as I could be that I probably ran through the entire thing like a coked out butterfly. The Masquerade briefing could have been a little better rather than a glorified role call -IT'S PRONOUNCED "VALLON"- but hey we got the gist.

Party-wise it was pretty hit and miss, catering to a lot of genres but again that's what the convention scene is about; varied tastes that generally hit within the mainstream of our collective tastes. I got my DJ Snap conventioncore set, which had me rave out like a Disco-Fu after an eyeball injectionful of DMAA. Something was pretty awesome about the Student Union Layout; if you didn't like the nightclub part you could go next door to the very warm and welcoming bar, play some pool, get a cheap ass drink, have your backdoor smashed in or be entertained by the hilarious bar staff. Saying the "drinks were cheap" is an understatement along the same depth as "Neil Armstrong was a cool guy" or "Mike Towers is a bit of a shady character", because how much better can you get other than Student Bar prices? I barely spent £20 the entire weekend, maybe £10 of drinks bought for me because I'm a classy mother hubbard like that, I probably consumed about half a bottle of Kraken Rum too and found myself nicely inebriated through the entire gig. I didn't get drunk off my face because due to the walks I'd have found myself waking up in a hedge or in a tree with a crown.. I'm looking at you Cid. I had quite a few shots called BackDoorSmashers which was essentially everything in a shot and tasted like a party in my mouth, you know the kind of party that ends with the police getting called round several times and someone getting knifed with a broken Pink Floyd CD.

As a conclusion, anyone who is into the convention scene needs to attend Amecon at least once and get in the deep end. Although not as glamorous as Kitacon it does the basics incredibly well and the sheer scale of the Con is not something to be missed. Though anyone used to a Hotel Convention will find the area difficult to cope with at first, once you nail the timings you'll be fine.

Pack a camera and take along a little more maturity than you would normally, this is one convention where you can get a hell of lot out of it. A lot of friendly faces and appreciators of the more obscure cosplays.

~Warai Otoko

Convention Review: Tokonatsu 2012 [Tents and Alcohol]

About this time two weeks ago I attended Tokonatsu which is essentially a convention where the accommodation is tents, in a field. £10 to hire a tent and free accommodation to take your own tent. This of course gets taken advantage of by those overcompensating nards who bring 18-man tents just for themselves.

I'll try to structure this as best as I can and not just ramble on like an angry lesbian in Burtons.

Accomodation:
TENTS. Fuckin' tents. You make it as comfy/rough as you want. Parking is limited but free.

Facilities:
One water pipe to service all 250 or so people on site. One. You know Dr. Rich thought they were kidding when he was told to take a cup into the shower to collect the sad dribble down the shower wall to throw over himself. Oh how we laughed.

Pack a shower cup.

Food:
You get free breakfast lunch and dinner, but trust me when I say it's quite spartan. For a 5'4 girl of 8-9stone, this is fine. But there was the stock up at tescos and the liquid diet I'll get to later. For someone like me there were the emergency McDonalds runs, and Toko actually provide a tesco run service and Dominoes Pizza so it's not like they don't give two flying shits about you. However they will not spoon feed you so it's up to your own sad ass to get up and make use of the available services.

Conventioning (Meat n' Tatties of the gig)
Toko being in a really nice campsite (no shit it's really fucking nice!) has a few outdoor events that any other convention can't do, such as Frisbee/battleroyale/extremestalk/waterfights etc etc and they're all unique to Toko. However the rest being the DDR tent, the Anime tent, and the drink yourself silly in your own or someone else's tent. No real parties as such, there's one but it's a campsite what do you expect?

Yes, you know it, you've been waiting for it and some of you mufflewumps actually skipped ahead to this; Alcohol. Toko does not have a bar, the entire event is a bar. We took a fair amount of booze and decided to  take it easy what with consistently being in the dehydrating outside. Powerade saved our lives, coincidentally did you know if you mix red powerade with vodka you get StealthJuice? Tastes like sweet fuck all yet gets you smashed harder than physics in my mind.

Overall Toko is exactly what it claims to be and delivers on everything it says it will. There's no hidden extras, no gimmicks and no complications. If you love roughing it, being outside and getting into it like Ray Mears doing Carmel Dansen, then Toko is highly recommended. Though I can guarantee you less than 10% of anyone who does cushy conventions, you know they kind, they have running water and beds and solid roofs; will not enjoy Toko.

What the 'Otoko says:
FUCK ME THE WEEBS. Weebin' here, weebin' there, weebin' errywhere. That aside, we met some really nice folks, and that again is down to Toko being incredibly down to Earth. You can meet someone and have a nice talk with them, hunker down and dismiss 9/10ths of the superficiality/crapola you'd get from most people at any other con.

Pack suncream, hygienic wipes, alcohol, deo and always get up early for breakfast. Any questions since I probably missed out a metric fuckton of shenanigans feel free to leave a comment and I'll reply.

~Warai Otoko

Anime Expo/Con + Alcohols: "Inebriation is Magical"

When you go to a convention or expo there'll be certain types of attendees. I won't get into the classification, just for one group; the Con Drunks. Generally you can find these bastards at the bar, always at the bar getting smashed before a panel or if you're at an AL event you'll find the con drunks wearing a con badge itching for the cheapest weakest babypisswater applejuice cider they can act tough with. Alright mate, put that kopperberg down before you hurt yourself.

Some of these wonders of society actually go to panels and do stuff. I'd like to think that I'm not a con drunk, even though I spend a lot of the time at one under the influence but then again I have the alcohol intoxication control of an anorexic straightedge long distance runner. Doesn't take a lot to get me drunk. But why do we turn up, get drunk at a place where we PAY to do stuff that is better done sober? Well, because it's fun, so shut the fuck up I'm not here to discuss why, go suck a dick.

Now here's someone to stay away from, don't even try to help this con goer because chances are you'll get yourself tangled in a right ass-hat of a mess. It'll happen just before the end of party/evening and you'll see someone (probably in a vocaloid or kingdom hearts cosplay) scream down the phone at someone and cry into it dramatically. Seriously, turn the fuck away, go to your room and go the fuck to sleep. You'd be a pretty daft vagina to go to them and ask if they're okay because holy shit their plan for attention worked! Guys, don't even think this'll get you any poon because if it's a girl she'll most likely spring a line on you so heartbreaking you'll think she's been stuffing pocky in her ear to make her brain taste yummy. Lines such as:

 - I only like Japanese people
 - Oh I can't! My heart belongs to Negiri Atshitsukehamayama-Kun
 - I'm bi, and that was one of my lovers on the phone
 - No my character would never do that!
 - Can I just be your pet?
 - You pronounced Onee-sama wrong!"

(These are all real lines btw)

Another group to stay away from, just ignore is the Walt Brigade. A Walt is, as the wonderful ARRSEpedia tells us a Walt is a wannabe soldier, re-enactment cnut. Push this to the storm troopers, elves, steampunk clique, or any group in some form of uniform. Not all are as bad as the ones at the bar who sing faux-war songs and shout out their rank as if they were in 'Nam, then again what do we know; we weren't there.. man. Just steer clear, or make a drinking game from how many times they do something cringeworthy like circle jerk or spray hot seedy ego boosts all over the highest rank; as if they were a bukkake party of salutes and "yessirs". I love storm troopers though, if they keep the full costume on cus that's dedication so I'd let them off for that.

My personal favourite drunk is the kind who doesn't know who what or where he or she is. Hilarious, because if you fall into this catagory you deserve all the trolling that's coming to you. Seriously the last guy I managed to convince his name was Rufus and he needed to fetch Scowny a coffee.

Generally what happens when you throw over dramatic and emotional unstable weebs in one place, add in every Bleach soundtrack then add alcohol is a lot of broken friendships. It happens every convention, it's like three stacked mountain goats couldn't see that coming.

~Warai Otoko

Ps. May post more on this later, you lucky lucky people.